By Michael Phillips
When one parent wants to move, what happens to the other parent’s rights? According to Manhattan child custody lawyer Richard Roman Shum’s July 1, 2025, article, “How Far Can a Parent Move with Joint Custody in New York?”, the answer is: it depends. But increasingly, “the child’s best interests” has become a phrase that justifies disruption of shared custody—especially at the expense of fathers.
New York’s Tropea v. Tropea standard, established in 1996, gave judges wide latitude to evaluate relocation requests based on a flexible list of factors: the child’s relationship with both parents, reasons for the move, and the feasibility of preserving visitation. On its face, this approach sounds thoughtful. But in practice, the discretion granted to family court judges often translates to unpredictable—and politically tinted—outcomes, particularly in high-conflict cases.
Who Actually Has the Power to Say “No”?
In theory, a parent with joint custody cannot relocate with a child without consent from the other parent or a court order. But in practice, courts frequently side with the parent seeking to move, especially when that parent is the mother. The legal system, still burdened by outdated assumptions about gender roles, often sees mothers as “primary caregivers” by default—even in joint custody scenarios.
Shum’s article presents a neutral legal overview, but it glosses over a critical truth: these decisions are not always made in the interest of both parents’ relationships with the child. When one parent relocates and the court allows it, the other parent is often left with a long-distance relationship, restricted parenting time, and increased travel costs—amounting to a slow erosion of their parental role.
A Legal Framework That Favors Relocation Over Stability
The Tropea decision may have replaced strict mileage rules with a nuanced test, but the flexibility it offers to judges can often be used to favor one parent over the other without clear justification. This opens the door to manipulation. A parent can cite “economic opportunity” or “family support” as a reason to move, while the real goal might be to limit the other parent’s involvement.
In states like New York, where progressive family policy dominates, this judicial discretion is frequently exercised through the lens of social equity, not shared responsibility. It’s not uncommon for fathers to be painted as obstacles rather than equal parents—especially if they raise objections to a move.
The Conservative Case for Reform
It’s time for New York—and other states following similar doctrines—to revisit relocation standards with a firmer hand on equal parenting rights. Conservatives have long argued for the protection of the nuclear family and fatherhood, but family courts have become the arena where those values are undermined. Shared custody should mean shared power. If relocation breaks that balance, it should trigger a full review—not a rubber stamp.
Judges must be required to consider how relocation impacts both parents’ constitutional rights. Parenting is not a privilege granted at a judge’s whim; it is a right that must be protected with the same rigor applied to speech, property, and due process.
High-Profile Lessons: Cavallari, Cutler, and the Media Filter
The media’s treatment of celebrity custody cases like Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler only highlights the public’s misunderstanding of how custody and relocation really work. When a high-profile mother moves on—and wants to move away—she is often celebrated for “starting fresh.” The father’s perspective is either ignored or villainized. That attitude trickles down into courtroom culture, especially in progressive jurisdictions like Manhattan.
Richard Roman Shum’s article is a helpful resource for navigating the legal mechanics of relocation, but it doesn’t confront the ideological bias embedded in the system. Until courts take a firmer stance on parental equality—and conservatives demand accountability—relocation will continue to be a legal loophole for erasing fathers from their children’s lives.
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