A serious, slightly compost-scented look into the eco-mind of Maryland’s most bendable gubernatorial candidate
If you thought politics in Maryland couldn’t get any weirder, meet Andy Ellis — Green Party gubernatorial candidate, chicken-yogi, and full-time eco-visionary who once tried to replace a podium with a compost bin during a debate.
But beneath his zen exterior lies a geeky heart of green gold. Andy recently unveiled his Top 10 Favorite Superheroes — not based on strength or billionaire status, but on their commitment to justice, sustainability, and cooperative city planning.
Here they are, straight from the yoga mat to your ballot box:
1. Swamp Thing
Let’s be honest — this one was inevitable. A literal pile of sentient compost that protects nature? Andy called him “the most emotionally intelligent being in the DC Universe.” Swamp Thing is also the only superhero known to veto single-use plastics.
“He is the Green New Deal,” Andy whispered in awe.
2. Captain Planet
The original environmental icon. Andy used to wear a “Heart” ring to middle school and insists Captain Planet taught him conflict resolution and how to blend hemp smoothies.
“He’s our only hope against Wes Moore’s fossil-fueled fundraising machine.”
3. Poison Ivy (but Reformed)
Yes, technically a villain — but to Andy, she’s just “an angry environmentalist who never got a fair trial.” In a recent interview, he said she’d be perfect as Secretary of Agriculture “once she stops mind-controlling city councils.”
4. Beast Boy
Shapeshifting vegan with ADHD energy? Andy relates deeply. He calls Beast Boy “an icon for neurodivergent climate activists who know how to have fun and recycle.”
Also, Beast Boy canonically composts his enemies. Big plus.
5. Spider-Man
Because with great power comes great responsibility — and Spider-Man would absolutely install solar panels across Queens if given a New Deal grant. Andy once held a plank pose for 3 minutes while explaining Peter Parker’s guilt complex.
“He’s what every unpaid campaign volunteer should aspire to.”
6. The Lorax
“He speaks for the trees. I speak for the Green Party,” Andy declared while balancing in tree pose next to a wind turbine. Is the Lorax technically a superhero? Maybe not. But Andy insists he counts — and has him on a T-shirt.
7. Storm (from X-Men)
Andy says she would be the perfect climate czar. “She literally controls the weather — and unlike the Maryland legislature, she actually does something about rising sea levels.”
Also, she rocks the silver hair look that Andy hopes to achieve naturally by 2026.
8. She-Hulk
Smart, strong, and fights legal injustice? Andy would 100% let her chair the Environmental Justice Task Force. He also says Maryland could learn from her “anger management through deep breathing and smashing fossil fuel subsidies.”
9. Frozone
His powers may be icy, but his political views are hot. Andy praised Frozone for “achieving carbon-neutral transportation with one slick ice trail.” Rumor has it Andy tried ice-sliding to the last Green Party convention but fell in a duck pond.
10. Groot
Because he says the same thing over and over again with increasing emotional depth. Just like Andy’s stump speech. Also: carbon-sequestering and union-friendly.
“I am Groot… and I endorse this message.”
Honorable Mentions:
- The Flash — for getting things done quickly without calling a committee meeting.
- Wonder Woman — because lassoing truth is basically FOIA with flair.
- Batman — but only if he agrees to defund WayneTech’s fossil investments.
Final Thoughts:
While other candidates pose with police unions and private contractors, Andy Ellis is building a League of Justice, one yoga stretch at a time. His policies may be radical, his heroes unconventional, but if Maryland needs a caped crusader for compost — he’s already in costume.
🦸♂️Vote Green. Namaste. And may your recycling bin never be empty.
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